I lead two "Discovering Normal" groups, one on Wednesdays (6:00-7:30 p.m.) and one on Thursdays (7:15-8:45 p.m.). These groups are for women who grew up in families where the emphasis was on meeting the parents' needs rather than on meeting the children's needs, often because of the parents' alcoholism and/or chronic mental or physical illness. Each group meets in 12-week sessions, accepting new members in the first week of a new session. The Wednesday group will be open to new members on March 31st, 2010.   The Thursday group will be open to new members on May 13th, 2010. Please call me at (443) 458-4221 or email me at jennifer@beallpastoralcounseling.com as soon as possible if you are interested in joining one of these groups.

Answer the questions below to find out if you have been seriously affected by having an alcoholic or similarly dysfunctional parent.

 

1.    When you were growing up, did your parents or caregivers use drugs, drink too much, or engage in other behaviors that seemed normal at the time but that now seem dysfunctional?
2.    Did you feel like your parents were too busy worrying about each other to worry about you?
3.    Did one of your parents cover up the other’s behavior (for instance, your mother calling your dad’s job and saying he was sick when he was really hung over)?
4.    Were you reluctant to have friends over to your house because you didn’t know whether one of your parents would be drunk?
5.    Did your parents seem to argue all of the time? Did they try to get you to take their side in parental conflicts?
6.    Did you or your siblings ever feel the need to protect each other and/or a parent?
7.    Did it feel like it was your responsibility to make a parent happy, and if s/he was not happy, it was your fault?
8.    Does conflict scare you?
9.    Do you feel like you never really grew up, like you’re a child pretending to be an adult?
10.     When you visit your parents, do you feel like you fall into the same role you played when you were growing up?
11.     Do you feel like you are the problem solver for all of your relatives?
12.    Are you afraid of people in authority?
13.    Do you find it impossible to say no to requests, then feel resentful when you get overwhelmed?
14.    Do you get involved in other people’s problems even if they don’t ask for your help?
15.    Do you often find yourself in relationships in which you become the caretaker for the other person?
16.    Do you have problems identifying feelings or find yourself trying to avoid feelings?
17.    Do you tend to take responsibility for other people’s feelings or actions?
18.    Are you a “people pleaser?”
19.    Do you take criticism (even if it’s constructive criticism) personally and feel like you’re being attacked?
20.    Have you gotten into a relationship and then later found out that your partner was an alcoholic, addict, or other compulsive personality?
21.    Do you have problems with intimacy (emotional or physical)?
22.    Do you feel like you are constantly looking for “the answer” from other people, activities, self-help books, etc.?
23.     Are you extremely critical of yourself and/or others?
24.     Do you feel like you wear a “mask” in public?
25.    Does it feel like everyone but you is “normal?”

 

If you answered "yes" to at least five of these questions, you have probably experienced, and continue to experience, significant effects from having grown up with an alcoholic or similarly dysfunctional parent.

Read more about Adult Children of Alcoholics, then click here to make an appointment.

You can also contact me, call me at 443-458-4221, or email me at info@beallpastoralcounseling.com to discuss ways that I can help you to overcome these effects.